


Connect

by rawsewage



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson, Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica
Genre: Attempted Murder, Connor Quits Smoking, Drugs, I'm Sorry, Kill 'Em All, Multi, Suicide, Violence, alana&zoe sort of take a backseat in this one, everyone dies, others are mentioned briefly - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-07-20
Packaged: 2018-12-04 03:00:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11546103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rawsewage/pseuds/rawsewage
Summary: People do odd things when they are put under severe pressure. Some turn to drugs and alcohol. Some ignore the problems they’re faced with until the pressure kills them. Some have breakdowns, some help anyone but themselves.Evan Hansen sells his soul to the equivalent of the devil.





	1. Sis Puella Magica

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hhdoesstuff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hhdoesstuff/gifts).



When Evan got pulled out of class to go to the principal’s office, he nearly had a heart attack.

When Evan learned why he was there, and saw the Murphy’s, he tried to stave off the panic attack for later. So, that was what he was doing sitting outside the school, in a discreet location, curled up into a ball and trying to calm down. The fidget cube in his hand wasn’t doing much to distract him, as he endlessly clicked one of the buttons. Connor Murphy was dead. He had committed suicide, and his body had been found a few days ago. They thought Evan had been his only friend. They were wrong, but he couldn’t just tell them that the letter was actually his and Connor just hadn’t left a note. But he had found himself with no choice to go along with the lie, and now he had been invited to a funeral. An honest to god funeral, where he was going to be expected to grieve for someone he talked to twice, and then comfort a family for who knows how long, until they recovered. He didn’t even have a suit.

Ha. A suit was the least of his concerns.

Evan knew fully well that he didn’t want to do this. If Connor hadn’t died, then none of this would be happening. If Connor was still alive… why did he even kill himself? All the evidence they had was the letter. The letter, Connor must have done it after reading the… oh, god.

Evan spiraled down further into the rabbit hole of his panic attack when he realized that he may have just indirectly killed someone. If only he had stopped him from leaving, and had explained..

He must have stayed there for another hour, trying to calm himself down, before he finally stood up, and started walking home. The cast on his arm felt heavy. But he didn’t take his regular path home. Evan knew his mom was at work until late. He had the time to try and take his mind off of this. His counsellor told him that avoidance was a bad habit, and he should put himself into more social situations, and learn how to do things he didn’t want to do. Evan was practicing his avoidance by going down to a nearby trail, somewhere he could try to calm himself down.

He had no idea that he was being followed.

Evan was deep into the trail now, where the paths were less obvious, but he still knew it well. He was silently writing his next letter to himself, one he wasn't going to show to his therapist. It went something like,  _ Dear Evan Hansen, today isn't going to be a good day, and neither will tomorrow, or the next day, or... ever, in general, because you're going to have to fake being friends with a dead kid. And people are going to find out, because you don't know shit about the guy, literally everyone will know you're faking it except for the parents because they're oblivious and didn't even notice that the letter belonged to you, and this is terrible. This is terrible. God, I, I just, fuck. Fuck. I fucking hate this. So much. _

There was a bench somewhere that woodland was trying to overtake, and that was where Evan stopped. Not because of the scenery, or to admire anything. It was more because of the white, feline looking creature sitting on it.

He stared at it, and it stared back at him with dark red eyes. It looked like a cat for the most part, but its face was cartoony, and it looked like it had rabbit ears extending from the cat ears, ending in a light pink. Two golden hoops floated around each one. It had a few red marks on its back that looked like if cats could have tattoos. And though it should have looked like a monstrosity, it was rather adorable, like a plush. But he knew it wasn’t, because of the way its tail flicked and it blinked.

“It’s rather rude to stare, Evan," it said.

Evan wanted to say that he handled the cabbit talking rather well, but he had anxiety, so he instead stumbled back, clutching onto his backpack and trying not to scream. Great, now he was going insane. All he had to say in response to the cabbit was “Uh.”

“Can you see me?”

He nodded, his throat going dry.

“Interesting.” It hopped down from it’s perch, circling Evan, walking exactly like a cat would. Evan tried not to throw up, frozen in place. “There is nothing to worry about, Evan. I’m not going to harm you. Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t.”

All Evan could manage was an “o-oh, okay..”

It stared at him for a second, before seemingly realizing something. “But I am being rather rude. I apologize for this. My name is Kyuubey, and I’d like to talk to you for a bit.”

Evan nodded again. ‘Kyuubey’ motioned for him to start walking, and he continued, Kyuubey right by his side. He was certain that stress had gotten to him, and he was hallucinating a talking cat rabbit.

“Evan, is there anything you’ve ever wanted greatly?” It asked, breaking the silence. “So much that you’d sacrifice something great for it?”

“..N-No..?” Sure, there were things Evan wanted. He wanted to not have anxiety, he wanted his mom to be happy, and he wanted to not be hallucinating this cat that seemed very realistic.

“I’ll reword it, then. If you had exactly one wish, and you could only wish for one thing, but it was at a price, what would it be?” It asked again, staring straight at Evan.

“...You- that’s sort of a hard question. I, uh, I guess I’d wish for my mom to have a better job..? O-Or that I didn’t need to-” Evan dropped off his sentence, remembering that he shouldn’t be dropping heavy bombs in a conversation.

“-go to a therapist?” It finished for him.

Evan took a moment to keep calm. “Y-Yeah.”

“Those are all good wishes, Evan. But if I were you, I’d think of something with more value.”

He felt insulted for a second. How were they not good wishes? Probably because they came at a ‘price’. He was about to ask what the price was, but Kyuubey walked in front of him and stopped, prompting him to stop as well.

“I’m only asking this because I want to ask of you something, Evan.”

“What?” Was it some sort of genie?

“I want you to make a contract with me, and become a magical girl!”

It appeared to smile as it said that, cocking its head and closing its eyes, before staring back up at Evan. Evan, who had gone from mildly freaked out to fully confused. “...A magical girl?”

“Yes, a-”

“What’s a magical girl supposed to be?” Evan had a vision of him in a large, floppy witches hat, riding a broom, looking rather annoyed, but he quickly dismissed it as Kyuubey began to speak.

“They’re just beings who can use magic, of course. But it isn’t like what you’re thinking. Magical girls must use their power to fight.”

“..To fight what?” Crime?

“Witches. You see, magical girls spread hope and kindness.” Sounded cheesy. “Witches are their exact opposite, as they spread illness and despair. They’re why people become ill, why people have depression and anxiety, and why people commit suicide.”  _ Connor killed himself.  _ “It’s the job of a magical girl to hunt witches, and get rid of them. There’s far too many in America right now, and I haven’t been able to recruit many magical girls.” Kyuubey continued, Evan trying to focus on it’s words and not the claim of Connor’s suicide being caused by some sort of monster.

“So, what do I get?” Evan had a good feeling of what he’d get in return for fighting these things.

“One wish. Only one. But it can be anything you want.”  _ Called it. _

So, he could have anything. The thing he wanted most was to not have to go to the funeral and pretend that he knew Connor, but it felt like a worthless wish. Wishing for everything to be perfect seemed like a bad, terrible, idea. He could wish for his anxiety to go away, but he felt like he'd lose eighty percent of his personality that way. As the two walked, Evan started thinking. Should he even do this? He had a few ideas, but none of them were very good. But, as he thought, Evan had a semi-good idea for a wish. One that'd save the Murphy's from their grief, one that'd probably earn him a friend. One that'd make Zoe like him, and not think of him as just some weirdo with anxiety. 

“...I think I have an idea of what I want.”

Kyuubey seemed mildly confused. “That fast? Most have to think about it for a while, unless they’re in mortal danger, or not thinking about it at all.”

Evan paused for a moment, thinking about if this was really what he wanted. It was a once in a lifetime chance. Why shouldn’t he choose the wish that would affect not only him, but others in a good way? “Yeah. I know. But I think it’s a good one.”

They had approached another trail marker, deep into the woods, with vines overtaking an old fountain. Whoever put it there hadn’t been thinking. Kyuubey hopped onto it, sitting down to face Evan. “Then, what is your wish, Evan Hansen?”

Evan had never told Kyuubey his full name.

“I wish that I could go back to the morning Connor saw the letter. So I can save him.”

Evan noticed how the wind seemed to be blowing around his hair and clothes, but there wasn’t any wind out.

“I can make that happen easily, Evan.”

Everything was suddenly lit up in a soft shade of blue. Kyuubeys ears lifted, for some reason, and pointed at his chest. It was weird, and Evan was about to question what he was doing, before there was pain. Pain, so much pain. It felt like someone was ripping out his blood vessels. He fell over from it, but he didn’t hit the ground. Something was making his fall achingly slow.

“Accept it.”

There was a small object now in front of him, incredibly bright, hard to look at, even.

“This is your fate.”

It was hard to do it with a cast, but he reached upwards and clasped his hands around it, doing nothing to conceal its glow. It was hard to believe, but Evan felt like he was floating. It no longer hurt.

The world seemed to fade around him, the wind still blowing as he held whatever it was that Kyuubey had pulled out of him..

And then Evan woke up.


	2. Postmeridie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to fix things.

Evan knew something was off immediately, because he was wide awake, instead of groggy like usual. And he hadn’t actually woken up, had he? The last thing Evan remembered was wishing to save Connor, and then there was some pain, and an odd floating sensation, before he was here. His sleeping position was rather odd, too, as he looked around his room. He was positioned like a dead person would be. The time on his alarm clock read 6:42.

Evan sat up, feeling something fall off his chest, and felt around for it, examining it closely when he had it in his hands. It was some sort of pastel blue egg, encased in a gold casing, decorated with teardrop patterns and with a small base at the bottom so it could stand properly. It fit comfortably in his hand, softly glowing, and reminded him of some weird looking christmas ornament. This also caused him to notice the light blue teardrop that had been painted onto one of his nails, on his casted hand.

Odd.

Evan got up, got dressed, working around his cast the best he could, and decided to take the egg with him. His mother felt distant, as always, as they ate breakfast. His mother asked him if he had been writing letters. He said he had started one (an obvious lie). His mother suggested asking people to sign his cast. He said he’d try.

“There’s money on the counter-”

“-for food, yeah.”

It was warm out, which Evan was glad for, because he wasn’t able to put on a jacket without looking stupid. The street was empty for now, which he was also glad for, because the feline from last night hopped onto his shoulder, weighing almost nothing.

“Hello, Evan!”

Evan tried not to tense up, but decided he’d warn Kyuubey anyways. “Are you sure you should be out here in the middle of the day?” Seeing it brought him some comfort, though, as he knew last night wasn’t an odd dream.

What else was odd? Oh, yeah, Kyuubey’s voice was now in his mind, or something. “ _ There’s nothing to worry about. Only those who have contracted, or can, can see me. There’s nothing to worry about. _ ”

“Wait, how are you-”

“ _ We can speak telepathically to each other. Just think what you want to say, so it doesn’t look like you’re talking to yourself. _ ”

“Oh.” And then he realized he should be thinking to himself. “ _ Uh, sorry about that… this is really weird. _ ”

“ _ No worries. You’ll get used to it soon enough. By the way… you can turn your soul gem into a ring, for easy carry. _ ”

“ _ Seriously? _ ” He took it out, still on the empty road.

“ _ It’s not that hard, Evan. _ ”

It wasn’t that hard. All he had to do was think about it, and it just turned into a ring, which he put onto the finger that had the blue teardrop on it. It felt a bit girly to be walking around with it on, but it was better than the egg. There were a few people loitering around the place he usually entered the school, but no one noticed him, or the cat on his shoulder. He felt a bit lucky.

The morning went like it had on the first day of school. He met with Alana, an acquaintance who he was sometimes a bit scared to talk to, and Jared, a family friend. Alana went on about what she had done during the summer, while he politely listened, then told him about her dead grandmother, before promptly leaving. Jared listened to what he had to say, but made sarcastic comments from time to time. He asked the two if they wanted to sign his cast. They refused.

They both gave him an odd look when he first saw him.

Everything seemed to be going okay, until Evan spotted Connor, and his heart almost stopped. The boy who he was told was dead was casually walking through the halls, looking like he wasn’t paying much attention. This had been where Connor got mad at him, and Zoe had to apologize for his behavior. Evan felt like if he changed this moment, things would go better. And, you know, Connor wouldn’t off himself.

“Evan.” Jared’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts, as Evan realized that he had just been standing there, staring at Connor like he had either seen a ghost, or was in love. The former was more accurate. “The hell are you staring at?”

“Um- no one. I-It’s nothing.” It was a poor attempt at a lie, which Jared seemed to see right through.

“Are you gonna try and get with the local drug dealer? Didn’t know you were into the bad boy type, Evan.” Jared laughed at his rather bland joke for a second. “Seriously, aren’t you supposed to have crippling anxiety?” Evan didn’t remember this happening, but it was probably because he hadn’t been staring at Connor last time. But, things quickly went back on course as Jared called out to Connor. “Hey, Connor! Loving the new haircut! Very troubled-teen chic.” Connor, as he did last time, glared, making Jared shrink back a bit. 

"I was just.. kidding. It was a joke..?"

“Yeah, it was  _ very _ funny.” Connor spat at Jared, as he stalked forward, looking like he was two inches from ripping the shorter boy to shreds. God, Evan had forgotten how terrifying Connor could be. “I’m laughing. Can’t you tell?” There was a pause. “Am I not laughing hard enough for you?”

There was a brief moment of silence before Jared mumbled something about Connor being a freak, and left. Evan, however, didn’t give an awkward chuckle. He looked around, wondering where Alana had gone, before looking back at Connor. It was now or never. He took a deep breath.

“I’mreallysorryaboutJared.”

_ Nailed it. _

Connor seemed a bit annoyed, and yet confused at the same time. “Why are you apologizing for him?”

“I-I don’t know, I just…”

“What, are you feeling bad for the freak?” Oh, god, it was going exactly like it had the last time. Connor was getting closer than he should have. “I’m not the freak here.” Evan felt like he was going to throw up. “You’re the freak!”

Connor pushed him to the floor and ran off, and Evan watched as he left. That hadn’t gone so well. But, luckily, Zoe showed up again, like she did last time. She apologized for her brother’s behaviour and helped him up. His heart fluttered, but he didn’t go to class yet. Despite being pushed to the floor...

Evan watched as Zoe left for class, and went off in the direction of Connor.

_ Don’t panic. _

He was standing outside the door to his homeroom, trying to force himself to go in.

_ Do not panic. _

Evan tried to look like he wasn’t staring, as Connor finally went in. Maybe if he befriended Connor… then maybe, just maybe he wouldn’t die.

The rest of the day passed as usual, up until Evan left for the computer lab. He sat down, and decided to write a new letter. He didn’t want this one to look like Connor’s suicide note. He had no idea where Kyuubey was, probably off doing what cat rabbits did when they were bored. During class, he noticed a similar ring on Jared’s hand. Evan had tried to discreetly flash his off, in the hopes that Jared would notice.

_ Dear Evan Hansen, _

_ Today’s gonna be a weird day, and here’s why. You made a deal with a freakish alien in order to save the life of one of your classmates just so you didn’t have to pretend to be their friend, and now you’re considering befriending them. But I actually kind of like the idea of being friends with the Murphys. _

_ I mean, Connor wasn’t half bad. He came back to apologize after all. And if we tell Zoe about our wish, she’d probably be more interested? I mean, I just want her to know that I’m a real human being and stuff? I don’t know. I feel invisible to her. Hell, to everyone, like I’m waving through a one way mirror, or something. No, a window, because everyone ignores me, nothing is blocking their vision, they ignore me because I’m an anxious wreck. Okay, I’m gonna stop with this section now, because “waving through a window” sounds like a song title. _

_ But, I guess it just feels like someone’s finally noticed me? It’s nice. It’s a really nice feeling.  _

_ Sincerely, Evan Hansen _

 

Evan let the mouse hover above the “ _ Print _ ” button. Should he print it? Well, Connor wasn’t here yet. It was probably safe enough to print the letter, but he wouldn’t be showing the contents of this one to his therapist. He clicked, and waited until he heard the printer go off. And as soon as he heard it turn off, he sprinted for the letter, but found it in the hands of a confused Connor Murphy, who had just picked it up.

“That’s mine,” he blurted out, and held his hand out, very tempted to rip it straight out of Connor’s hands, but hey, that’d be rude. Instead, he just stood there, and waited, as Connor looked up, squinting. His eyes were a bit red. Was he high?

Connor glanced back down at the letter, and back at him. “...Wait, really? Uh-” He looked back down for a second, and handed it back to Evan. “‘Dear Evan Hansen’- that’s you, right?”

“Yeah.” Connor was smiling at him. It was only for a second, but still, it was a smile. Maybe he was only smiling because he was high. Evan took the letter back, and shoved it in his pocket. “You- you didn’t read it, why?”

“No, just the first line.” Evan internally let out a sigh of relief -  _ thank god. _ “Why, is it-”

“It’s just an assignment.” God, he was talking fast. His palms were probably sweaty. 

“Oh. Already?”

“Yeah.”

There was a bit of silence, both of them looking for something to say. Evan noted how this was going a bit differently from last time. It was uncomfortable to the point of death, until Connor finally asked, “So… how’d you break your arm?”

“....I fell out of a tree, actually.”

Connor seemed a bit confused. “Fell out of a tree?”

“Yeah.”

Beat. “...That is just the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard, oh my god.”

Evan nodded, sadly. It was pretty lame. He waited to see if Connor mentioned that no one had signed it yet.

“No one’s signed it yet.” Bingo. Just what Evan had been waiting for.

“..Yeah. Do you, uh, want to…”

“Sure. Got a pen?” Evan bent down to fish through his bag the best he could with one hand upon Connor’s request, pulling out a sharpie and handing it over. Connor took his casted hand, and in large letters, wrote his name. It was a little bit embarrassing, but it was good enough, and Evan was actually a bit happy until Connor started talking again, taking note of the silver band around his finger. “Wait, is this a ring?”

“...Yeah.”

“Weird. Well, at least we can both pretend that we have friends now.”

Evan almost let out a sigh of relief upon Connor dismissing the ring, and realized that this was his chance. He could befriend Connor, and everything would be okay. “Well, uh, we don’t have to pretend.”

Connor gave him a semi-confused look. “What are you on about?”

“D’you wanna sit together at lunch?”

There was a brief silence.

“This is our lunch period, dumbass.”

“Oh.” God, that had been so stupid of him. Really? Sitting together at lunch? What were they, 12? “W-Well, uh, we could still hang out if you, uh, want to! Um, I know this rplace downtown, we could go,”

“Are you asking me out, or something?”

Evan’s blushing was quite obvious. “No! No, I-I just meant like, hanging out, or something, not in a romantic way at all, or anything. Just dinner. In a friend way.”

“Why?” It was all Connor asked, but Evan couldn’t think of a single good answer until Connor continued. “Is this some shitty attempt at making friends?”

He sighed, slightly hanging his head. “..yeah.”

“You say that a lot.”

“Yeah.”

There was yet another period of silence, before Connor sighed. “Tell you what- I’ll meet you at Red Robin at six pm, if you really need a friend that badly. It’s not like my parents are gonna give a shit, anyways.”

Evan’s face lit up, before he tried to downplay his happiness. “Uh, sure! That works! I’ll pay.”

Connor was about to say something, but the lunch bell ‘rang’. They simply glanced at each other before saying their farewells, and headed off to their respective classes.

Evan felt like his heart was going to soar. He was going to befriend Connor, and Connor wasn’t going to kill himself if he did everything right. He wasn’t going to have to attend a funeral, and he probably wouldn’t be alone for every second of his life. Sure, he had Jared, but Jared was sort of a jerk. He was happy until the moment he left school for the day, and the ring on his finger started glowing.

He stared at it, trying to figure out why (maybe it was linked to his emotions?), and asking himself why he felt like it was trying to lead him somewhere, before Kyuubey hopped onto his shoulder again. “Evan, you’d better hurry up and follow it.”

“Oh- hey.” He smiled at the feline, before turning his attention to the ring. “What’s it doing?”

Kyuubey settled, before explaining. “There’s a witch nearby. You see, soul gems-”

“It’s called a soul gem?”

“Yes. Soul gems can sense where witches are. Are you ready for your first battle against a witch?”

The first part went smoothly. Kyuubey had him turn it back into the clunky egg form, and Evan followed the pull, until he reached an old part of town, where the buildings were in some ruin. He followed it inside of a large church looking building, wondering if it was trying to kill him. But Kyuubey wouldn’t try to kill him, right? It had granted him an honest to god wish. Once inside, he found that it wasn’t trying to kill him. But he found inside, at the top of some steps, was what looked like a projection of multiple spinning circles, containing runes and symbols Evan couldn’t read, and an odd picture in the middle.

“Go in,” Kyuubey urged him.

So, Evan climbed up the steps, avoiding the occasional plant life growing in the ruin. It was like stepping through a portal to another world when he entered, his surroundings turning from an old ruined building, to a pristine white hall covered in mirrors. He carefully stepped forwards, catching his reflection in one of the mirrors. It, for some reason, made him appear much more attractive than he should have appeared. No acne, slimmer, more muscular, no cast. In another, he looked terrible, with dark eye bags, extra flab, extra acne. Apparently, this witch was obsessed with appearances.

He heard voices.

Her name was Cinderella.


	3. Salve, Terrae Magicae

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cinderella, the Fairy Godmother Witch. It’s nature is desire. She is obsessed with self image. She used to help those who were alone find love, until beauty warped her perception. Now, everything that enters her barrier must be perfect. If something enters that is imperfect, she will take it by any means necessary and make it better.
> 
> There are still things he doesn't know much about.

At any random high place, Kyuubey could find the other singular male Magi, simply relaxing.

“There’s a new one, you know.”

“Yeah. Saw his ring during class.”

“You already know who it is?”

“Of course I do. I’m not stupid.” He laughed slightly, getting up as to descend. “I’m gonna watch him for a bit. See what happens.”

As Evan walked along the mirror hall, he found more alternate paths and more twisted landscape. The ceiling had rose by twenty feet, he felt like he was walking on walls by now, and there weren’t only mirrors around now. Busts of people were slammed into the walls randomly, masks cluttered the halls, pillars that stopped too early were spread around randomly on the walls. Everything was still a bright white.

“Evan, now would be a good time to transform. You’re getting into the first layer of the labyrinth.”

“I- right. I totally know how to do that.” Evan had no idea how to do that.

“It should come to you naturally.” That was all Kyuubey had to offer as advice.

The next minute was filled with some of Evan’s worst moments. His attempts were absolutely terrible, as he started off just angrily staring at his soul gem, before trying saying stuff, and then posing (he ended this attempt rather quickly as he heard laughter coming from somewhere). After doing all this, he just sort of stared at it. Maybe if I just sort of tried to… feel it? Emotionally, of course. He wasn’t going to start rubbing it, or something. Unfortunately, that was the one that worked. Fortunately, it was very easy to ‘transform’. All he had to do was let that familiar blue light encase him again, and it was done. There were no changes to his body, luckily, but his previous outfit was gone. He couldn’t see much of what he was wearing, but he knew for sure that he now had on a skirt, and god, this outfit was clunky. At least he was mostly covered. The cast remained, but… seriously? It did him no good, and when Evan was about to ask Kyuubey why he did that, it was gone. But as he kept walking, his steps felt lighter for some reason. He felt more prepared- wait, those were rats. Why were rats here?

Evan quickly got his answer, as they suddenly blew themselves up in an explosion of green gas, effectively choking him.

He stumbled back, coughing and trying to get away from whatever the hell those things were, clinging to the wall and trying his best to just run . His brain felt foggy, and it was hard telling which direction was left and right. Eventually it cleared up, and he could tell where he was going, and could think clearly again. There were more rats coming to blow up in his face, and Evan bolted. He was done hanging out with the explodey guys, or, at least until he noticed that he was backtracking. He was getting absolutely nowhere with this…

But the pillars sort of gave him an idea.

He slowed to one, noting the large crack in it that could serve as a handhold. If he reached it, he could probably get up to the top, as none reached the ceiling and simply ended early. But something went wrong when he tried to jump up to reach the hold.

That being that Evan launched himself up into the air, and instead landed on top of it, albeit stumbling, but, still. He could apparently super jump now. Maybe Kyuubey was actually a genius. Evan made a mental note to experiment later to see what he could and couldn’t do, and continued on his way, going from pillar to pillar as to avoid any more exploding rats. As he went along, the landscape became more colorful. More mirrors and busts and pillars. What looked like lipstick, nail polish and eyeshadow started to smear everywhere. From time to time, he’d pass rosebushes somehow growing from the wall - but it was obvious that they were fake. All he had to do was follow the clutter. Trouble only came when the birds came along - large, hulking, all colors of the rainbow, and they really liked to peck at him. They only stayed to the sky though, and the rats seemed to have forgotten about him, so all Evan had to do was drop to the ground.

It seemed easy, too easy.

After one large staircase made of plastic, Evan met what he had nicknamed the Bodyguards. Two black mannequin dolls, a foot taller than him, guarded a large, ornate door, decorated with fake jewels and glitter. Evan tried to speak to them, yielding no response. They just stood there. So, he then tried to just walk up to the door and got through. Instead of getting through, he was thrown back by the two dolls, and saw them marching straight towards him.

_ Fuck! _

Evan got to his feet, trying his best to dodge their wild attacks. Evan quickly learned that his cast made for a great weapon, as he had slammed it against one, and it had actually been knocked back. He took the split second opportunity and ran for the door, slipping through and slamming it shut on a black, wooden hand.

So, he hadn’t killed it, but he was safe again… or, that was what he thought, until he turned around and saw it.

Or, her.

Her name was Cinderella.

The room was large, expansive, circular- it made him feel ridiculously small compared to the beast in the center. The landscape was made up of lights, shining down on him and her, almost blinding him. But he was more focused on the witch at the center. She looked like a doll, with makeup caked on her nonexistent face, cheap looking wings on the back, and wearing a blue and white dress made of some cheap, fraying material. And more horrifyingly, she was melting into some sort of black goop.

Cinderella loomed over him, stared, and then proceeded to shriek.

It was a terrible, awful sound that no one should ever have to hear. Evan shrunk back, trying to block it out with his hands over his ears, and as soon as she was done, the frays on her dress seemed to stand up, headed straight for Evan, sending him running off once again. He would have to ask himself later how he had dodged all of her attempts to rope him in, but he knew that whatever dignity he had was probably lost as he ran for his life. The bodyguards were back, working in unison to force Evan to constantly avoid them. Even the damn birds returned, trying to carry him off. His suffering seemed to end when he had to dive out of the way of the two bodyguards, and that landed him right in the cloud of gas. Thread curled around his ankle and flung him into the air, Evan uselessly trying to right himself.

He had no idea which way was up, or down. All he knew was that he’d at least die doing something heroic, right?

_ What a stupid death _ , he thought as he fell.

Evan was suddenly slammed sideways, surrounded by a heavy cloth, supported by someone's arms. They set him down against a wall, or something, so he’d face them. Evan couldn’t make out the details, but he knew they were wearing a cape and glasses, and they were holding up their hand. They said something, and Evan squinted. They repeated themselves.

“Hey! How many fingers am I holding up?”

“...purple..?”

“Good enough. Don’t move from that spot!” They got up, appearing to pull out a giant warhammer from out of nowhere, and they launched themselves at the witch. Evan couldn’t make out the details of the fight, but this person knew what they were doing, as they pretty much bludgeoned it until the landscape faded, and the witch screamed, fading into nothing but a scrap of blue fabric. They were back at the church, somehow, and Evan had gotten a better look at his cloaked savior.

The person wearing the dark red cloak was Jared  _ motherfucking _ Kleinman.

Evan stared in disbelief, as Jared ignored him and instead, picked up something off the floor. And then he was right in front of Evan, signalling for him to get up. “Come on. Did you break your leg, too?”

He stood up, shaking a bit, and he was about to thank Jared for saving his life, until he broke into a coughing fit. But as soon as it was over, he was immediately talking at ninety miles per hour. “I- thanks for saving my life, I had no ideayouwereamagicalgirltoosorryforthetroubleisthereanywayIcanrepayyou?”

Jared wasn’t phased. “Dude, chill. Besides, you’ve already done me one favor.”

“What favor?”

Instead of responding, Jared held up the thing he had picked up. Looked like some weird metal ball cage with two spikes. “Lead me right to a witch. Speaking of, why weren’t you fighting it?”

He felt a bit embarrassed, being called out right then and there. “Well- I, uh- it was-”

“Evan. Stop freaking out.” Upon Jared’s request, Evan shut his mouth. “How long have you even been doing this?”

“That was the first witch I’ve encountered, actually.”

“Ever?”

“Yeah.”

Though Jared had managed to look shocked and pissed at the same time, it didn’t last long. “...Christ, that’s fucking sad. At least all that wild running and dodging made for some good panty shots!”

“Excuse me? You did not take panty shots, give me your phone!” There went his sudden need to thank Jared. “Or whatever you used to take them!”

But, he knew Jared had been joking when he burst into laughter. “I was kidding! You’re so over-reactive, Hansen. I wouldn’t dare bring my phone into a labyrinth. And besides, you’ve got leggings on. I couldn’t have been able to. Speaking of, what the hell are you wearing?”

Right. His outfit. It looked stupid compared to Jared’s cloak, and… okay, the cape concealed everything he wore, but it wasn’t that bad. Evan, on the other hand, now felt fully embarrassed in a skirt, frilly shirt with bows, and of course, the heels he kept wobbling around in. It was even worse when Jared laughed. “Ha! You’re even blushing. You make for a good damsel in distress.”

“Shut up, Jared…” It was all Evan could think of to say.

“No. Do you need this? I mean, you didn’t do any actual fighting, and by the looks of it, your magic sucks ass, but still.” Jared held out the little spike ball again as he asked. It looked like whatever ‘magic’ he used was wearing off too, as the odd cloak outfit had disappeared, and was replaced by the clothes he had worn at school. The ring was back, but Jared quickly turned it back into its egg form. “Wait a sec. I wanna use it first.”

Evan watched carefully as Jared tapped the two together. Evan had assumed that the black bits gathering in the bottom were just a part of Jareds soul gem (which was red, by the way), but they quickly left, seemingly gathering into the grey spike ball. “Wait, what even is that thing?”

Jared stared in complete disbelief. “...Wait, you don’t know what a grief seed is?”

“No.”

“...Okay, I’m sorry, but how much did cat asshole even tell you before fucking off into whatever pocket dimension it lives in?” Beat. “Also, can you stop wearing that?”

“Yeah. Sorry.” ‘De-transforming’, or whatever he was supposed to call it, was easier done than said. All he had to do was think it, and he was free of the frilly dress and heels. “And he didn’t tell me much. He told me what magical girls and witches were,”

“Alright,”

“How to do stuff with the soul gem,”

“Good,”

“And that’s it.”

“You’re fucking kidding me.”

Jared made Evan walk home with him after that, and he did a lot of explaining. For example, apparently soul gems gathered weird black stuff in them the more you used magic. Grief seeds were dropped from witches, so you used them to get rid of the black gunk. Jared gave him the grief seed, saying he should have a backup just in case, and it had one use left. Apparently, magical girls were also supposed to be able to use and ‘summon’ a weapon. When Evan admitted to not knowing how, Jared had taken a crowbar from a nearby abandoned building, and gave it to him. Magical girls were apparently called mahou shoujo. The rats, birds and bodyguards in the witches maze were called Familiars. According to Jared, one or two had probably gotten away and left to turn into witches themselves. Jared had also gotten very annoyed when he found out that Evan’s soul gem was bigger than his, and this resulted in a few jokes about soul gems being penises. Eventually, they reached Evan’s home, and Jared had stopped him one last time.

“By the way, don’t expect this to ever happen again.” He had calmly said, before walking off.

“Wait!” Another beat, while Jared turned. “I was hoping we could sort of team up, or something?”

“No can do, Hansen. I only helped you out because I used to be just as clueless as you, and I kinda felt bad watching you. It was like watching someone kick around a dog. You know, if the dog wore a dress and high heels.”

“You were watching me?”

Jared didn’t answer, and left. Evan was alone now, standing at his front door, a bit saddened. Well, he didn’t expect him to want to team up, anyways. Jared was just a family friend. He tried to ignore what had just happened, and went inside, checking the time.

It was 5:32.

Wasn’t he supposed to meet Connor at 6:00?

_ Shit! _


	4. Ipse Est

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dress familiar. It’s only purpose is keeping Cinderella beautiful, and is extremely overprotective. Whoever dares try to harm Cinderella will be hunted down by its fabric and ribbons until it can destroy them. It may have multiple skills, but it lacks the true independence to be a witch.
> 
> He's just having dinner with a new friend, that's all.

Making his way downtown, walking fast, accidentally made eye contact with an old man, walking even faster. Probably running late. A quick check of his phone reassured Evan that the time was 5:50, and he had ten minutes to get there and he prayed to every god out there that Connor would be there too and he was sort of over thinking this wasn’t he? Well, whatever. To be honest, Evan should have taken the bus here, as he was still somewhat worn out from getting mercilessly tossed around and gassed by a monstrosity, but his mom had taken the family car to work and he was still too afraid of taking public transportation. Nine minutes later, he was standing near the entrance of the only Red Robin in town, out of breath, slightly sweating, and carrying an extra coat he might not need. Checking his phone again alleviated his fears, as the time was 5:59. But Connor wasn’t here.

He’s probably just running late. The possibility of Connor already being inside and waiting did cross his mind, but one glance inside shut that idea down. So, Evan waited outside for another ten minutes, looking at every car that entered the parking lot to see if Connor might have drove here. But, there was no trace of him. Evan started to go over every possibility in his mind - maybe his parents forced him to cancel, or he got busy and didn’t have the time, or he wasn’t up for it, or he didn’t want to talk to Evan at all, or, or, or, or,

It was at that time that the ring on his finger let off a light blue glow.

Didn’t Kyuubey say that witches were a reason why people killed themselves?

Oh, god. This couldn’t be real. Tears swelled up in his eyes, and it suddenly felt a lot colder outside. If Kyuubey was right, them Connor was probably moments away from doing something like hanging himself or shooting himself or something terrible and and and and and and and and

And he needed to calm down, if he didn’t find Connor, then his wish would’ve been in vain, and Zoe would hate him for making that wish and letting her brother die anyways, and no magical girl around would want to even be near him because he made such a stupid and selfish wish that didn’t even work. And he really needed to stop thinking about this, because what he needed to be doing was finding Connor, damnit!

He couldn’t think of a single reason why Connor would be driven over the edge with what had happened without stretching the truth, so he figured it must be whatever his soul gem was glowing about. (Ha, funny. It was like a dog, but if it glowed instead of barked.) Luckily, no one really gave him any stares for running around downtown holding out an egg, as everyone was mostly busy, or staring at something weirder. All he could focus on was the slight pull that let him know where to go. Almost twice he got hit by a car, but it wasn’t really bothering him at the time, because he was more concerned about Connor dying. He had lost track of how long he had been going, or where he even was, but at some point, when how many people were around thinned and the buildings became a bit older, he saw it.

Or, rather, him.

Connor.

He was about to cry in relief, knowing that his wish hadn’t been for nothing yet, but everything sort of seemed off. The most noticeable thing was that Connor wasn’t wearing his hoodie, but it didn’t really seem like something to be worried about. After all, Evan still had a spare jacket. But it was more the way that Connor was seemingly acting, as he ran up to him. “Hey- Connor!”

Connor, at first, didn’t respond. He just kept walking along, until Evan shook him and said his name again.

“Connor?”

As soon as Connor looked Evan in the face, it was quite obvious that something was very, very wrong, as there was no emotion on Connor’s face at all. He just stared out to nowhere, and mumbled, “I’m busy”, before going to leave.

“Busy with what? Where are you even going?” Evan asked, as he followed along, finding it a bit hard to keep up. Connor had ridiculously long legs.

“To do something.”

Connor kept walking. Evan followed. He followed Connor directly back to the ruins, where he had met the first witch. Evan watched as Connor got something from the corner, and started doing something with it. Connor walked back to the center of the abandoned building.

“Can you do me a favor?”

Evan nodded, still scared at how emotionless Connor was acting. “Y-Yeah.”

“Help me tie this to some high point.”

Connor held up a noose.

He tried to control his breathing, trying to muster some sort of strength, or anything. “I- what are you doing with that?”

“I’m going to kill myself.”

Oh, god. Okay. Of course.

“Think about it. I’m a burden. If I was gone, everyone would be happy. Everything would be perfect-” Connor, however, was interrupted from his emotionless rant by Evan punching him square in the gut. Connor fell to the ground, and Evan snatched the noose, trying to undo it, before just shoving most of it into his pockets. He tried to calm down, and looked back to Connor, who had stood back up, a blank look on his face. Still no emotion. Nothing.

That was roughly the time when the fabric appeared out of nowhere, coalescing into a frightening patchwork doll for a moment, before sending itself directly at Evan, who had broken into a run. At least it didn’t care about Connor. It took a few seconds, but Evan remembered about his weird powers he now had, and had transformed within seconds, practically launching himself away. The crowbar Jared had given him earlier was in his hands again, and now that he had a real reason to fight, Evan felt much more motivated. So he ran straight back at the familiar, swinging wildly at whatever fabric got too close to him. He had shredded through a few ribbons, but it wasn’t enough. He saw it going straight for Connor, who hadn’t moved an inch since the familiar appeared, and while he was distracted, it slipped one of the remaining ribbons around his ankles and flung him out of the same broken window.

Evan landed on his face, quickly recovering from the fall. It was gone, but he was more concerned about Connor, looking around wildly for him while making his own way back to the building they had been in before. Desperately calling his name, over and over, until he saw Connor frozen in place. It didn’t make any sense. He was still outside, and it looked like Connor had literally been frozen in time. He appeared to be running in Evan’s direction. His hand was stretched out. His face read fear. When Evan turned around, there was no sign of the familiar behind him.

He was just standing there. Frozen.

Evan cautiously stepped towards him, not sure what to think this. His knuckles had turned white from his grip on the crowbar. He lightly tapped Connor on the shoulder, receiving no response. “Hey, Connor..? Come on, stop being frozen, or whatever’s going on with you..” Unaware of what was really going on, Evan tried to lightly push Connor in the hopes of ‘unfreezing’ him, or something. “Come on-”

His words quickly turned into a shriek, as Connor’s body unraveled into more fabric and ribbons, headed straight for Evan, who had gone back to swinging in every direction, at some point catching some of the fabric bits on the crowbar and just slamming the familiar into the ground in complete panic before it jostled loose. But it was hopeless at this point, as Evan’s blind panic and adrenaline allowed him to keep mercilessly beating the familiar into the ground, as it died.

Absolutely brutal.

Evan was sad to see that it hadn’t dropped a grief seed, but he had better things to worry about. Like, for example, making sure that Connor was still alive, and wasn’t chugging rat poison.

He found Connor standing in the exact same place as he had been before the familiar appeared, with the same blank look. Evan carefully approached again, noting the absence of the mark, and he tried again to get Connor’s attention. “Uh, hey, anyone home..?” But, Connor didn’t respond. Instead, what happened was that Connor fell over, collapsing into Evan, who easily caught him. He weighs almost nothing. Kind of concerning. But, at least Connor was alive and breathing. He was just out for a bit, that was all.

Evan sighed, lowering an arm to grab Connor’s legs and started carrying him out of the building, deciding after a bit that he should stop walking around in the dress and heels. But when he ‘detransformed’, Connor seemed to gain fifty pounds. Or, Evan was just very weak as a civilian. He only made it to the end of the street before having to put Connor down and catch his breath. It was at that moment that Connor decided to wake up, scaring Evan half to death when he saw the taller male staring up at him, a tired and confused look plastered on his face.

"Evan, why-"

"It'snotwhatitlookslikeIswear!"

There was a bout of awkward silence, before Connor sat up. "It doesn't look like anything to me. Where the hell are we..?" He then noticed where he was, and was even more confused. "Why am I-"

"I found you asleep on the ground."

"What?"

"I-I dunno. I guess you fainted?"

Connor seemed to take that explanation. "Alright, sure. Why not. I fainted. Let's go with that."

"Um, d-do you want me to take you home?"

"Could we do dinner first?"

The two of them weren’t sure how they got back without getting too lost, but the rest of the night went smoothly. No random witch attacks, no Kyuubey (though that did make him nervous), and Connor was conscious for the whole night. The two got along better than either of them expected to, as they slowly warmed up to each other, making stupid jokes even though it felt awkward and Evan praying to every god out there that no one thought this was a date. A few people had given them looks when Connor had commented on how cold it was in the restaurant, and Evan had handed over his spare jacket with only a second thought after doing it. Even though by the time they had gotten up to leave they weren’t entirely friends yet, they still got along.

And for Evan, that was perfectly fine with him.

The sun was setting by the time they were back in the suburbs, still walking together. They had passed the route back to Evan’s house a while ago. It was still fine with him. Even when Connor questioned it.

“Evan, why are you still here?”

“I- well, you’re kind of nice, and even though everyone thinks you’re a bad guy, you still try to be kind.. I-I dunno, That sort of came out of nowhere-”

“No, in a literal sense, don’t you take a different path home?”

“...Oh.” That was stupid. Of course Connor wouldn’t ask such a loaded question out of nowhere, how stupid did he have to be to think like that? “I just wanted to make sure you got home safe.”

Connor sighed. “I can defend myself, Evan. Besides, who’s going to kidnap an eighteen year old male? It’s always girls who get into trouble on the streets.”

“You fainted in an empty abandoned street an hour ago.”

“Okay, you got me there.”

They kept walking, up until the point that Connor had stopped. “This is my house.”

Evan nodded. It was silent out. “Alright.”

“Can I see your phone for a second?”

Evan reluctantly handed it over, unlocking it so Connor wouldn’t have to ask what his passcode was, and it took a minute for Connor to do whatever it was that he had been doing, but he got it back quickly. “So, what did you need with it?”

“I was just putting in my phone number. Just in case.” And before Evan could say anything, Connor left for the door. “See you later.”

He didn’t wait for Connor to enter, and started making his way home as fast as possible.

Connor stood in front of the door, before realizing that he was still wearing the coat. He turned, calling for Evan. “Wait, you forgot your-!”

Evan was gone.

“...alright, then.”

What resulted after this was a painful argument with his parents, who were pissed that he had skipped dinner and disappeared for two hours. He narrowly avoided getting grounded (as if it’d do anything), and it was only because Zoe had finally told his parents that he told her where he was going.

Late at night, Evan could be found in the kitchen with his mother. She was busy with paperwork, and he was doing the dishes, but they still held a conversation. It was a quiet one, though. And it was one that Evan already had.

“So, how was your day?”

“It was okay.”

“Did anyone sign your cast?”

“One guy did.”

“Jared?”

“No, someone else.”

“Oh.” Heidi seemed dejected, but also like she was trying to not let it get to her. “What’d you do for dinner?”

The words were out of his mouth before Evan could catch them. “Went out with a friend.”

He felt a bit embarrassed, but his mother seemed genuinely happy for once. “Really? I didn’t know you had a- I mean, who did you go with?”

“We’re not really friends. We just ended up hanging out. But it was the same guy who signed my cast.”

That had been the first time in a long while that Evan had seen his mother genuinely happy. He hoped he could see it again.

Evan received a text that night.

 

[from: connor murphy]

i bet you 10 dollars that jareds gonna tell everyone that we were on a date.


	5. Incertus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He didn't know. But he's okay.

Evan’s alarm went off at 7:00, as it always did. He smiled at the light blue egg sitting beside his bed, and got ready for the day as per usual. But there was still the lingering fear that when he got to school, Connor might not be there. And then it’d start all over again, and he couldn’t bear the thought of being stuck in a never ending cycle time loop, or his wish being for nothing. It was just a depressing thought. He saw Jared in the halls, but the two didn’t speak. He just ended up waiting around in the halls, out of the way, and his only comfort being the ring around his finger.

“Hey, Evan.”

And in that moment, Evan swore he had a heart attack as there was a hand on his shoulder and he heard the familiar voice of Connor Murphy. He whipped around, and sure enough, there was Connor, who had lowered his hand. “Christ, you look terrible.”

Most of his panic had alleviated by now, and he found himself able to make conversation with him - though, it was painful and awkward. “Uh, yeah, wonder why, uh, don’t you have stuff to do, why are you-?”

“I’m here because I wanted to talk to you.”

There was a moment of silence between the two, despite the noise in the hall.

“...That’s what friends do, right?”

“Oh! Uh, I thought you meant that in a completely different way, sorry!” Evan tried to brush of his mistake, but god, did Connor have a habit of accidentally making things more serious than they should have been.

“Nah, it’s my fault. Can’t talk to people for shit.”

It turned out that talking to Connor was just something that got easier with time. “It’s alright. Are you still feeling alright, you’re not gonna pass out again, right?”

“Nope. How’d you even know I passed out?”

“I didn’t, it just sort of made the most sense.” Evan shrugged, a bit offput by Connors sudden suspicion.

“OR, it could be that someone tried to take control of Connor, and Evan is ACTUALLY a magical warrior who saved your life.”

Ah. Jared was here. Despite being shorter than the both of them, Jared had put his arms around their shoulders in some attempt of annoying them. “So! A little birdy told me last night-”

“Don’t-”

“That you two were on a date!”

Evan recalled the message he had gotten last night, and figured this was worth asking. “Connor, does this mean that I owe you 10 dollars now?”

Connor groaned, as anyone else would in the situation. “No. But where did you hear that from, my sister?”

“That’s for me to know and for you to not find out. So, when’s the wedding?” Jared now had a shit-eating grin on his face, knowing fully well that Connor and Evan were probably fed up with him. “Do I get to be best man? Or did that role go to a tree?”

Evan moved Jared’s arm off of him. “We’re not dating. We were just hanging out last night, not everything has to be gay.”

“Not everything has to be straight, too, but the media doesn’t care about that. Why should I?”

Evan gave Jared a weird look. Connor sighed. “If you think about it, he actually has a point.” He also disconnected Jared’s arm from his shoulder, and started walking away. “Seeya.”

Evan watched him leave, something here to make it flow better. “Where’s he going?” He asked, mostly to himself.

“Class, probably.” Of course. It was a bit alarming when he heard Jared’s voice in his head. “ _And, now that he’s out of our way, we can speak in private without looking weird!_ ”

Evan jumped slightly, about to ask Jared how he did that before remembering the whole ‘Kyuubey-can-talk-to-magical-girls-telepathically’ thing. “ _Oh. Wait, how are you talking to me in my head?_ ”

“ _You know how Kyuubey talks to us with his mind? We can do that too, using him as some sort of middle ground. I think. But now that we are talking, stop hunting familiars. I know you wanted to save your boyfriend, but familiars are crap and don’t drop grief seeds._ ”

“ I noticed. And it wasn’t like I really had a choice other than letting Connor… ”

Jared nudged him as Evan stared out to nowhere.

“I need to go to class now, Jared.”

And Evan left.

The next week or so passed without any incidents. Evan and Connor started to talk more and more, eventually growing into being actual friends. Evan made it a point to fight a witch at least once a day, but occasionally he’d have to fight two. On Friday, Jared took them all out to celebrate surviving the first week of their senior year. Just Connor, Jared, and him. They had stopped at the local ice cream place, and it was a generic, nice day. After Connor had left, they had been forced to work together to take down a witch. Because he had been so sluggish and tired in the fight, Evan let Jared have the grief seed.

By the next Monday, he had collected ten grief seeds and had kept them in a sock in the back of his drawer. And by the next Monday, he felt terrible. He couldn’t focus. He could hardly keep his balance. Once in class, the teacher had sent him to the nurse for just sitting there in an almost catatonic state. He didn’t sleep well. His dreams never made sense.

That Monday morning, Evan dragged himself down the hall, just walking had tired him out, and he didn’t respond at first when Connor tried to say hi

“Evan?”

Evan kept walking

“Evan. Hey, over here.”

Evan slowly turned around, his vision blurring, he felt so tired, but Connor was here

“Are you alright? You look like you’re dying.”

Connor was always nicer to him than he was other people

Connor reminded him of soft things and kind wishes and red ribbons in pink hair and red ribbons in pink hair and

and red ribbons in pink hair and

He was losing it

His soul gem looked too dark now that he noticed

Didn’t he keep all of the grief seeds he collected in a sock at home?

“I’m okay.” Evan made a mental note to do something, he didn't remember what, the thought quickly slipping from his mind as his knees buckled

Connor caught him. “Evan, I’m taking you to the nurse’s office, okay? Can you still walk?”

Evan nodded, and let Connor help him there. The nurse told Connor to go to class, and she couldn’t find anything wrong with Evan other than him just being tired. So he ended up taking a 30-minute nap, before going back to class. He couldn’t focus on anything all day, his thoughts drifting in and out. The most lucid one he had was wondering why Connor made him think of such soft things.

After school, he headed out the back entrance, knowing he’d find a witch soon enough. There were a lot around here for some reason, but it was one that he didn’t question.

Evan for the life of him could not remember where he found the witch, but he was having some trouble defeating it. The entire place was themed after a board game of some sort, and he had to sneak everywhere just to get to the main board - a tiled game with a large castle in the middle. It was easy enough getting in, however, as the only line of defense was the drawbridge being raised.

Her name was Amelie.

He had been doing terribly. Evan had collapsed behind something that could serve as a barricade, trying to catch his breath, and hoping that the witch wouldn’t see him here. He felt like passing out, but he tried to stay awake, despite black spots appearing at the corners of his eyes. Judging from the inhumane noises he could hear, the witch had seen him, and he could feel the ground shaking. It was going to attack him, he was sure of it, but he couldn’t summon the strength to get up, or even move. It had been distracted, however, by a loud shriek that even Evan had turned around to see. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see two other magical girls had thrown themselves into the battle. One purple, one gold. They would probably be the ones to take the grief seed, share it and throw it away. Evan didn’t mind. It was his own fault for being so careless.

The witch died, after some shaking, screeches, and multiple other events Evan didn’t see. He fell backward as the barricade faded along with the witch. He could hear chatter, but he couldn’t focus on it. He couldn’t focus on anything. He couldn’t even get up. The world around him felt unreal.

It was pure luck that the last thing Evan felt was two people struggling to pick him up, as he passed out.

Evan had no idea where he was.

There was something soft and heavy on him (blanket, duh), the walls were a soft purple. It smelt nice. Whoever lived here probably liked art, judging from the clutter of sketchbooks and other supplies scattered around. Everything hurt. It felt like if his entire body could cramp up. He felt most of it in his casted arm. Two figures were approaching the closed door. He could hear them talking, something about not being able to find any witches that were in a safe enough range or something.

And Zoe Murphy walked in first, a concerned look on her face. Beautiful, amazing, Zoe. Alana was with her.

“Are you absolutely sure we used the grief seed from the board game witch? No uses left?” She was actually concerned about him. Evan would have smiled if he wasn’t in pain.

“No, I already gave it to Kyuubey, and I don’t have a spare, I was planning on getting one, didn’t you say you had one?”

“I used it a while ago.” Zoe, after saying that, kneeled down to the edge of the bed, barely visible to the boy in it. “Evan, can you hear me?” Evan weakly nodded, forcing himself to focus on her words and nothing else. “Are you okay?” He nodded, again. “Good. We found you outside of a witch’s barrier- can I see your soul gem?” He reluctantly let her, the ring falling off into her hands, now in egg form.

Zoe looked horrified, to say the least.

It’s previous light pastel blue color had been infected with hues of black and brown, with only a few hints of its original color left. At least it wasn’t completely dark.

Zoe had turned to tell Alana, “He’s really close to it becoming all black, there are no witches around, are you sure that you don’t have a spare? And ask Jared if he has one he can give up, too.”

“Zoe, we both know well that Jared wouldn’t give up a grief seed for anything.” The situation now seemed to set in- no grief seeds, with a slowly corrupting Evan.

“So then what do we-”

“I have one.” Evan’s voice was weak, he didn’t know why, but at least he had their attention. “In my sock drawer. In the very back.”

The two girls seemed very conflicted at the idea of rummaging through a guys sock drawer, to say the least.

“Alana, you go get it.”

“No, you do it! That’s creepy!”

“You’re the one who knows where he lives!”

“And you’re not as close to him as I am! Besides, it’s still creepy!”

“You’re faster, and he’s in terrible condition, why would he do that now of all times?” Alana seemed to consider how she’d persuade Zoe, before Zoe butted in again. “Go get it before it’s too late and we see what happens when a soul gem turns black!”

“Okay, okay, I’ll go, but I’d better not find anything gross in there!” And she ran off, going as fast as she could. Alana was gone. Evan found that focus was something he lacked, as Zoe spoke to him and he stared out at nothing.

A good amount of time passed before he was brought back to reality by seemingly nothing until he saw Zoe taking something from Alana. She was holding a grief seed to his soul gem.

There was some sort of feeling that reminded him of soft things and angel wings. As the pain seemed to melt away, it reminded him of Connor, for some reason.

He didn’t have much time to dwell on it though, as Zoe had set down his soul gem (which was back to it’s original color), much more focused on how the grief seed in her hand was now festering with darkness. “Crap- Alana, what do we do?!?”

Alana had pretty much thrown herself to the window, flinging it open as she told Zoe, “Just throw it out!” And in response, Zoe did just that.

It would have landed on the ground outside if a certain white feline hadn’t caught it in an opening in it’s back.

Kyuubey sat down on the windowsill, it’s tail flicking back and forth as it always did, just sitting there. None of the three knew how to react. They just sort of waiting, Evan sitting up, just staring at Kyuubey.

“You can go now,” Alana told it. And it just left. Weird.

After that rather short interaction, Zoe shrugged, picking up the conversation where it had left off. “Well, sorry about using up your spare grief seed.”

“More like one of them.” Alana dropped the sock into Zoe’s lap, which was still weighed down with more grief seeds, as she quickly found.

“Oh my god, how many are there in here?”

“Ten.”

“Oh my god-” Zoe tried her best not to seem disappointed in him but gave up quickly. “Evan, how long have you been doing this? You’ve seriously been killing witches and just hoarding the grief seeds?”

“I know, I know, you’re supposed to use them, I just didn’t think it needed to be done that often, and… I’m honestly just being stupid at this point. Sorry.” _This is ridiculous._

“How long ago did you become a puella magi?”

What was a puella magi? He assumed it was just another term for Magical Girl. “...Uh, a week ago.”

“Oh. Makes sense.” It was now Evan’s turn to ask questions. “So… you’ve been doing this too.”

“Yeah. Alana’s been doing it for a while, and so have I.”

He felt the bed slightly dip down as Alana sat, something something, he's still working on that whole focus thing. “You’re the first new one in a while here. As far as I know, it’s just me, Zoe, and Jared. At least we have a third person who’ll be willing to work with us, now. Right, Evan?”

“Yeah, but what about Jared? Wouldn’t he-”

“No.”

“But he saved me from a witch.”

“Listen, Evan.” Zoe leaned back as she started to explain. “Jared, for some reason, has a soft spot for new magi, but this place is his territory. He only lets us hang around because even though he’s an ass, he can’t do much about us being here. So in a month, don’t expect to get any special treatment from him.”

“Are you sure?” Evan struggled to find some sort of rebuttal, knowing that Jared wasn’t really that bad. “I mean, after he saved me, he helped me out a bit and explained everything that Kyuubey didn’t. Like the whole grief seed thing. And last Friday, he even helped me out with a witch.”

“Did you give him the grief seed?” Alana asked.

“..Yeah.”

“Then that’s why. Listen, Jared seems okay, but he’s a prick, and he was probably exploiting you to get that. He’s a loner. Works on his own, doesn’t want to deal with being in a team. It sort of makes sense when you think about it from his point of view, but seriously. Avoid him.”

Evan sighed and decided to take Alana’s advice. “If you say so. I have two questions, though.”

“Shoot.”

“Which one of you was the yellow one, and which one of you was the purple one? I could barely see you when you two were fighting.”

Alana raised her hand, saying “purple,” and Zoe raised her hand, saying “gold”.

“Alright. Can I get out of Zoe’s bed now?”

It was a question that they should have said yes to, but Alana looked as if he had asked if he could shoot Zoe. “No! Ten minutes ago you looked terrible, and your soul gem was tainted, we don’t know what effect that had on you or if you’re okay. You should stay here for a while, I’ll tell your mom-”

“Alana, he’s probably fine, and this is probably weird as hell for him to be laying in a near stranger's bed.” Just to prove her point, Zoe redirected her attention to him. “Evan, how do you feel?” She asked. The arguing was starting to make Evan nervous.

“I-I feel fine, just a-a bit tired, I, uh, I don’t know why, though.”

“See? He’s fine. He can go home now.”

“But we don’t know-”

“How about we compromise?” He suggested, suddenly regretting interrupting, but he continued, as it was too late by now. “I’ll go home, and I’ll immediately go to bed.”

“And we get to walk you home,” Alana added.

“Sure.” He got up, picking up his soul gem from the ground, eager to go home and scream into a pillow.

Alana and Zoe didn’t leave his side until he got back, and they didn’t leave his driveway until he was inside, for some reason. They had talked for a bit, and Evan had collapsed onto his bed as soon as possible, trying to comprehend the situation. He had talked to Zoe. Zoe had saved his life. Beautiful, amazing, graceful Zoe.

It seemed only fitting that she was the one who wore gold.


	6. Venari Strigas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He didn't know what he could do with magic, until now.

The next day, Evan wore a jacket to school.

The weather had been getting colder, and he decided it was worth the extra two minutes of pushing the sleeve over his cast, so why not? Plus, the spare grief seed he now kept around felt fragile, he didn’t want to break it and risk something terrible happening.

No matter where he kept it, he felt like he was going to break it.

But despite how terribly he had screwed up last week, Evan still thought this had been a great idea. He was actually putting himself out there. Making some friends. Sure, it might be a weird crowd to be in, but he couldn’t find anything bad about it. Especially when he was headed down the halls to find Connor, and Zoe had waved at him. As he waved back, his heart soared.

Finally, Evan had met up with Connor. He hadn’t seen a trace of Jared, but he was a ‘loner’, according to Zoe and Alana, so he might have just been avoiding other magical girls on purpose now. And this time, Evan was the one to initiate the conversation, though a bit shakily. Progress was being made. “Uh- hey, Connor, how are you?” _Wow, that didn’t sound stupid and robotic at all, Evan!_

Connor didn’t seem to mind, as he let the smallest sliver of a smile appear on his face as he responded. “Doin’ alright. Don’t think I’ve seen you wearing a jacket before.”

“Well, it uh, was starting to get cold out, so..” Making conversation about a jacket. Great. Evan settled for messing with his sleeves, pushing them up slightly and rolling them back down over and over, instead of saying something else.

“Yeah, but…” Connors sentence faded off, as his eyes trailed down to Evan’s sleeves. He didn’t say anything for a few moments.

“Connor, is everything alright?”

“Let me see your arm.”

“Wha-hey!” Evan didn’t get much of a chance to argue, as Connor had already grabbed his uncasted arm, and had pulled up the sleeves to reveal… ah, yes, the third reason Evan had worn a jacket today. There were multiple healing bruises and cuts on his arm.

Connor stared in mute silence, before looking up. “Evan.”

“They- I didn’t- they’re not from me hurting myself, or anything, I swear!”

Connor had held back a sigh of relief, dropping Evan’s arm. “Thank fuck- we’ve been friends for a week, don’t do this shit to me until a month has passed. How did you even get these?”

Evan considered his options until he settled on a lie to tell. “I fell in some bushes.”

“How-”

“Thorny ones.” He shrugged, pulling down his sleeve so no one would stare.

“Well, don’t break your other arm.” He groaned, his head hanging back for a moment. “Don’t do that, you scared me half to death.”

“I won’t.” Evan knew that he’d have to come up with more lies if Connor ever noticed again, as he’d probably never have the guts to tell Connor about witches.

Witches. That was what was on his mind when the two parted ways to head to class. He was glad that Connor didn’t have the potential to be a magical girl. Witches were terrifying, hard to fight, and he almost never came out of a labyrinth without a few bruises. Even if he knew that Connor would probably never understand part of him, that was fine. It wasn’t like he wanted to be that close to him.

Evan silently reminded himself that he didn’t make his wish for Connor.

But every day, it felt more and more like he did make it for Connor. Connor had been his first friend in a while, after all. And not to mention the odd things he always felt about him. Red ribbons in pink hair. Soft things. Kind wishes. Hope. And that was why he was glad Connor didn’t have potential. Evan had almost died in his first fight, and he didn’t want Connor to die. Then his wish would be for nothing, or he’d just start over - could he do that?

And then there had been the one who saved his life that first day. Jared. Evan had known him as a family friend for years, he was shocked that he never noticed what Jared had been up to this whole time. And he still had no idea what side he was on. Jared was a loner. He saved Evan’s life. Jared didn’t give up grief seeds for anything. Yet he gave him the one from the Cinderella witch. If Jared was supposedly cold and uncaring as a magical girl, then why had he been like this? Maybe he wasn’t as bad as he seemed. Maybe if Evan talked to him, he could convince Jared that being allies wasn’t that bad.

As the day ended and he walked home, he decided to make that his goal - to convince him that they should team up.

The time was 9:21. Evan’s mother had gone to classes, and he was writing a letter to himself when he heard a tap at his window. He looked to it, only to see Zoe, in her gold uniform, cape streaming behind her, with her soul gem shining brightly on her chest.

Beautiful, wonderful Zoe.

He got up, running over and opening the window, with soul gem in hand. And she smiled at him, asking him, “Are you up for a witch hunt?”

Without any hesitation, he had transformed, and followed her outside, where they met with Alana, taking the most secretive route to downtown. It felt amazing to be running around at night with the two, doing something only they knew about, and yet it’d save so many people. It wasn’t long until they had tracked down a witch, located near one of the failed landscaping projects. All three entered, and ran along the paths of the labyrinth as Alana explained their strategy.

“Alright, Evan, usually our plan is that Zoe keeps the witch distracted and I fight it, but you’re here, so you’ll probably just help us both out. We’ll figure out the rest when we get to the center.”

Her name was Augustine.

As it turned out, this witch in particular really liked acrobatics. Multiple times, they found themselves climbing upwards, the paths red and yellow striped and cluttered with trapezes and trampolines. The familiars resembled human beings with broken bodies, one type with blue skin, pulling swords out of its mouth, and the other red, and breathed fire at them. Perfect. But as they slowly ascended, Zoe and Evan alternating the familiars focus so they continue upwards, there was also an underlying theme of flowers. Evan had recognized them easily - lilies.

_Augustine, the circus witch. Its nature is self-pity. It was not able to take back its love from the flowers that it fell into, and the vines choke and taunt it every day. It does not do anything about it, and instead weeps on its own, trying to block out anything and everything. To defeat this witch, one must know loneliness better than it._

They reached the top, Zoe taking the lead and heading through the open door to see an empty circus tent, the seats empty, vines growing around everything, and the shambling form of a witch facing the wall. It’s form was a mess of parts of a phonograph, ropes and glass bits. And the three leaped straight into the fight. Their rather simplistic plan sprung into action, as Zoe flitted around, light on her feet. Evan quickly learned that she possessed some sort of sound based power, as no human should have been able to shriek as loudly as she could. And it kept the witch away from them for the most part, as she darted around, using a whip to pull it around, and as Alana tried to target every weak spot she could think of with the staff she wielded. And all Evan could do was contribute by mowing down familiars, which weren’t trying to attack them, but rather push them out.

But one thing was obvious, and that was that they needed a new plan, because they weren’t getting anywhere with this witch, even with three people.

“We need long-range attacks!” Alana had yelled in Zoe’s direction, as she struggled to get back to the witch.

“So what do you want me to do, throw my whip at it?!?” Zoe had yelled back, and god was Evan glad that she had good control over her magic.

“No! I’ll think of something, maybe I could use this stupid stick as a throwing spear, or whatever they’re called, just keep it distracted!” And Zoe did just that, while Alana attempted multiple times to land a hit on the witch, via throwing her staff. It didn’t work well, to say the least. Meanwhile, Evan’s luck had worsened, as it became increasingly harder to dodge the knives and flames. There were a lot of cuts that went deep, and now he had burns to add to his list of injuries (how fun!). And just as he thought he could make a comeback, he was tripped, and four pairs of arms grabbed him and flung him at the walls of the tent. He managed to right himself as he flew through the air, seeing another four familiars headed straight for him. Evan didn’t know what weapon he had drawn as his feet hit the wall, but there was a ricochet of metal, and the familiars dropped in the sky.

Evan let himself question what he was holding for a moment, as the witch screeched in pain.

Since when did he carry around a bow and (nonexistent) arrow?

Well, it didn’t matter now. Alana and Zoe seemed to had taken note of the new weapon, and the three quickly adapted. Now that he could get in more hits than Alana, they had shifted roles. Alana was taking down any familiars that got too close to Zoe, while Evan took shots at the witch, keeping out of the way. But, the arrows he fired didn’t do much against the witch. Sure, it did more than Alana or Zoe could, but it wasn’t going down. Ten minutes must have passed as they fought until the familiars finally noticed that they should be paying more attention to the guy shooting the witch. Evan had obviously panicked, now back to his strategy of “jump around like a wild, horny rabbit and pray to god that nothing touches you”, and had fled to the empty bleachers, running for his life. A few got too close, and he had jerked around, throwing his arms upwards as to try and block whatever they threw at him.

Instead, they just stopped moving altogether.

Evan looked up from behind his arms, and… nothing was moving. At all. _What the fuck?_ The familiars had gone still, the witch was frozen in place. Zoe was stuck midair, and Alana had frozen while in the middle of throwing her weird staff/stick again. Everything had taken on the appearance of a grainy photograph, or painting, he couldn’t decide which it looked more like. As a little experiment, Evan raised his weapon again and fired one arrow at a familiar. It stopped inches from its face, but it was clear that as soon as everything unfroze, it’d hit the familiar right in the face.

So, what else to do than abuse this?

He did the same for every other familiar nearby. One arrow to the face for every single one. After that was taken care of, he decided to line up multiple shots at the witch. He got exactly fifteen seconds to do all this until everything started moving again. But when everything did resume… it was like watching fireworks.

Evan silently wondered if weird powers manifested a week after someone made a contract, but continued fighting. They seemed to finally have the upper hand in the fight! Or, at least, until the witch escaped, climbing straight through the top of the circus tent, a few familiars following. None of them hesitated to follow, though it took some effort, they had forced themselves to follow the witch. But, here, gravity apparently didn’t exist. As he fell into nothing, Evan forced his eyes open. He could see Zoe and Alana struggling to adjust to the state of this place, where the floor didn’t exist. Fighting off familiars was fine, but no one was able to touch the ground. It reminded him of being underwater, but minus the whole ‘can’t breath’ part. Even worse was the witch, which was running around wildly, knocking the three around. Evan tried his best to stay upright, quickly losing hope. But up and down no longer existed, in whatever this disgusting labyrinth was.

But hope came, in the form of a figure wearing a familiar dark red cloak, and dual-wielding two warhammers. As he struggled, he saw a cloaked figure getting closer and closer, felt arms around him again, and he was just being moved out of the way, as they told him to stay put.

Jared, once again, threw himself directly at the witch. It was hard to watch him, flying so fast that he was just a blur. The witch screamed, sending familiar after familiar after him, but he just kept bludgeoning it, as it fled, but failed. He could see Alana and Zoe trying to help, but they stopped quickly. Jared was apparently very destructive when he fought witches.

And the labyrinth came to an end, as they were able to touch the ground. The vines faded, and the tent did too, as Jared mercilessly beat the shrinking figure of the witch into the ground. For a second, he was hitting just pure earth, until the warhammer disappeared, and he headed for the grief seed on the ground. Alana beat him to it, as she swiped it off the ground.

“This is ours, Jared.”

“Bullshit. I’m the one who killed it.”

“You hopped in last minute, we were the ones doing the hard work.”

“Guys, stop it.” Evan decided to put himself between the two before something bad happened. “W-We should just share it. Right? There’s- we don’t need to fight.”

The two glared at each other, before Alana turned to leave. “Evan, if you really want to try and reason with him, go ahead. We’re going to go back, though.”

“Go back- just, going home?” Evan asked, feeling a bit stupid for having to do so.

“Yep. Zoe, he’ll be fine.” Alana directed that last bit towards Zoe, who looked like she was close to dragging Evan with the two. But she let herself go along with Alana.

“Have fun.” Jared idly waved as he said this, watching the two leave, before redirecting his glare to Evan. “So. I’m guessing you’re here to preach the word of friendship?”

Evan felt like his reasoning wouldn’t get to him, but he tried anyway. “Jared, stop. I know you probably have your reasons for going alone, and I can’t do much to change your mind, but…” He paused, looking for the right words to say. “ ...you don’t have to. We’d be more than willing to fight along your side.”

His words were lost on Jared, as expected, as he scoffed. “Oh, please. Of course, I don’t have to. I work alone for a reason, one that none of you seemed to have grasped.”

“Then why?” Evan felt like Jared would be at his throat for asking, but he did it anyway.

“Because.” He examined his fingernails, for whatever reason, before explaining. “Working with others is a waste. Fewer grief seeds, less dependability. Most of us live by the phrase ‘kill or be killed’, myself included. Which is why the whole group thing you’ve got going on with Zoe and Alana disgusts me.”

“Then why do you keep saving me?”

It seemed to shut Jared up for a few seconds, looking alarmed by how easily called out he had been. “Wha-”

“Why do you keep intervening, and saving my life?” He asked again, crossing his arms the best he could with a cast on. “You keep saying that I shouldn’t expect you to be kind to me ever, that you don’t care, and yet you keep doing this.”

Jared stuttered for a few seconds, before lashing out. “I- it’s just- you see- okay, you’re new to this, I felt bad, alright? But rest assured that we will never, ever, cross paths again, and if we do, I get the grief seed.”

“I feel like you’re not telling me the truth. Why are you a loner, Jared?”

His fists clenched, and he struggled to find the words to say. “You wouldn’t get it. You’re too naive. Too soft.”

“I don’t care.”

Jared took a moment to calm himself. His fists unclenched. He seemed to consider something, before giving up. “Yeah, right. Like I'd tell you.”

"We've been friends for years, Jared. I know you say we're just family friends. But really, whatever reason it is... It's not that bad. I swear. Okay? So, just... why?"

“...shut the fuck up, Hansen.”

Evan just stood there and watched as Jared walked away, before he stopped.

“By the way? Connor’s still wondering if he should return your jacket, or just keep it.”


	7. Mirai

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor got lost, but he's fine now.

The house was silent as one male laid in his bed, unable to sleep as he could hear his sister sneaking back into the room besides his. Connor didn’t know where his sister went every night, and he didn’t care enough to investigate. He was already trying hard enough to become a better person. It was funny, that the only reason Connor had only smoked four times since school began and that he was trying harder to not cuss people out was because of Evan Hansen. He had no idea that Evan had existed up until the moment that he had pushed the other, and ever since, he felt bad.

Evan, to him, was a genuinely kind kid who was trying his best. And Evan was also his only friend. It only made sense that Connor was trying to improve himself for that one friend.

Of course, nothing changed much. His mom and dad still thought he smoked more than a fog machine at a party. Zoe still despised him. But the fact that Evan hadn’t been scared off yet was enough to encourage him, even if Zoe and her friend looked on in pity- what was even her friends name, Ava? Arina? Elena? Speaking of Evan, Connor glanced over to where he kept it. You know, The Jacket™. It was the one Evan had lent him the day they ‘hung out’, and that Connor didn’t get a chance to return.

Don’t be stupid. You can return it at any time. But what would he tell Evan? Oh, yeah, here’s the jacket you gave me like a week ago, I didn’t return it because I like to sleep in it. He hadn’t been caught yet, though. Which was why he got up, took The Jacket™ and put it on, immediately flopping back into his bed.

But what could he say? It was a really nice jacket, after all.

When Connor woke up in the morning, he was still wearing The Jacket™. Not like he cared. He cared more about shutting off his alarm and going straight back to sleep. He’d know when to wake up thanks to how Zoe took a shower every morning. If his alarm wouldn’t wake him, the hairdryer would. And when the hairdryer turned off, Connor forced himself to sit up, still groggy, and to take off The Jacket™, to throw it under his bed where he hoped that no one looked. And it was just in time, as that was when Zoe had started slamming his bedroom door open and shut as to wake him up. Neither of them noticed the cat shaped shadow outside his window.

Evan was walking his usual route when he felt the familiar weight of Kyuubey on his shoulder again. “Long time, no see.” He said- no, thought to it, this was still weird.

“I understand how frustrated you are at me, Evan. I did leave you alone for an awfully long amount of time, after all. I was simply trying to recruit more Magica.”

“Alright- hey, wait a minute.” Evan recalled all of the other names they supposedly had- magical girl, mahou shoujo, puella magi. “What’s the real term for a magical girl? I keep hearing other terms getting thrown around.”

This sent Kyuubey into a long explanation of cultural differences, or whatever. “All are different terms used by different types of magica. Magica is just a general term. But Magical Girl is usually used by Americans, and most of them are neutral. Those who fight for justice call themselves Puella Magi, and in Japan, the term used is Mahou Shoujo. It’s also the term used by Magica who fight for their own good.”

“Makes me wonder why Jared goes by the Japanese term, then. I mean, he’s American.”

“But he also follows their set of ideals. It’s just differences between countries. For example, did you know that in Japan, most magical girls are female, usually around the age of 13? Their male counterparts just never have enough potential. But, there are also plenty of soldiers who are Magica. They all wished for the same thing, of course. To win.”

“...What did Jared wish for?”

“I’m afraid I can’t tell you that. It’s generally considered very rude, and I don’t wish to make Jared an enemy.”

He recalled last night, and how violent Jared was when he fought. “You have a point.” And as he walked up to the doors, he felt a bit comforted, knowing that Jared couldn’t try anything while they were in public.

 

Connor wasn’t sure why, but as soon as he entered the school building, he had an immediate feeling of dread. It wasn’t an obvious one, just lingering in the back of his mind. He felt like something was wrong, but not enough to do anything about it, as he trudged down the halls to meet Evan. Evan, who he now felt a bit worried about, as he approached the boy at a cast who was hanging around by Connors locker.

Evan, who reminded him of the oddest things. Braided hair and spinning gears and flower fields at night, when the moon was half full.

He was about to greet Evan as usual- say hey and tap him on the shoulder, but Evan turned before he could and said hi. Everything was the same - he still had the same awkward, dumb, cute smile, and he was wearing the coat again, and everything was the same. You know, except for the weird cat plush sitting on his shoulder that looked to be alive.

Connor tried not to let his fear and confusion show. He took a second look.

It was still there, it’s tail flicking around and the cat blinked a few times.

Connor looked around, noticing that no one seemed to notice the cat.

Evan gave him an odd look. “Are you okay?” He asked, and Connor snapped out of it, assuming that the cat must be just a hallucination, and after today, he’d need a long nap. First fainting, now hallucinations. Great.

Whatever. He’d deal with it later. First things first, Evan. “Yeah, just…” Sick, tired? What would worry Evan the least? “...sort of ‘out of it’.” He made air-quotes as he said this, not sure how else to word it. The cat kept staring at him, and he just wanted it to leave already. He looked down to Evan’s hands, trying to keep his eyes away from the cat. His fingernails looked like stubs. “How do you bite those with a cast on?’

“What?” Evan had glanced down, nervously examining his nails. “Oh, right, uh…”

“You should probably stop.” Connor lightly slapped Evan’s hands, which were picking at said gross nails. “Seriously. Do you want me to paint your nails at some point, too?”

“What?”

Oh, right, most guys at their school didn’t regularly do that. How do you make that question look normal? Wait, no, who cared? “Do you want me to paint your nails?”

“Wha- why?” Evan hadn’t been weirded out yet, he just seemed confused. Good.

“It gives you something else to pick at. I’ll do it tomorrow, at lunch, if you’re okay with it.”

“Uh, sure.”

The two looked around for a moment, trying to think of something to say, until the warning bell rang, and they had to part ways again until their next free period or class they shared. Connor tried to not think about the cat on Evan’s shoulder, which Evan seemed to be unaware of. He hadn’t been sleeping well the past week, but Connor couldn’t think of a reason why it’d be there. After all, he had cut down on how much he smoked… he was sleeping well…

Connor quickly found something else to think about, as when he entered his homeroom, there was no class.

There was nothing but a long walkway, and inky black darkness with no door behind him.

 

Classes were going well, until a few minutes into his second period, Evan’s phone went off in his backpack. He let it ring, his face red as everyone looked at him. God, why today? After everyone had stopped staring and trying to stifle their laughter, he slipped it out of his bag and into his pocket, unnoticed by his teacher. Evan had gone to the bathroom before, only to collapse outside his classroom. He raised his hand.

“Yes, Evan, can you tell me-”

“CanIgotothebathroom?”

“Yes.”

As his teacher went on with their lecture, Evan escaped, and as soon as he was out into the empty hall, he pulled out his phone. There was one missed call from Connor Murphy. Why would he be calling me in class, he asked himself as he called him back. Connor picked up instantly, and Evan immediately felt a familiar sense of dread.

“Evan holy shit why the fuck didn’t you answer me the first time, I need your help I-!” There was a gasp, and a long bit of silence. In the background, he could hear an odd static sound and what sounded like wind chimes. It sounded like Connor was about to reply, but he just ended up sputtering something that made no sense, gasping out words that were unintelligible.

“O-Okay, calm down Connor, just breathe, okay?”

“I AM! I am, I am, I’m breathing, I am, I am,”

“Stop.” He felt bad, but Connor stopped talking. “Just take a few deep breaths.” Connor seemed to obey, as all he could hear on the other side was some static, and… choked sobs, oh god. He waited a few more seconds. “Connor, can you tell me what’s wrong?”

“I-I don’ fuckin’ know, everything’s all black and fuzzy and I’m freaking the fuck out and I have NO idea where I am, and, and, oh god, you just think I’m high, don’t you, please don’t hang up PLEASE-”

“Breathe.” He gently reminded Connor, who had stopped. “I won’t hang up. Where are you?”

“Evan Hansen.”

Shit, it was his teacher. Evan immediately lowered his phone, covering the screen. They loomed over him, their facial features twisted into an expression that conveyed one singular message - You are about to be suspended. “I can’t believe this.” The utter disappointment in their tone of voice was enough to make Evan hold back his temporary freak out. “You’re such a good student, Evan, why are you doing this now? Give me the ph-”

“Wait.” It seemed to shut them up, just that one word. “It’s- it’s my friend, they’re in trouble, or something, I don’t know what’s going on but I have to help them-”

“You can get them out of detention or suspension after class-”

“It’s not that type of trouble, they could be seriously hurt!” He could hear Connor desperately screaming for him through the phone, just faintly, trying to get his attention. “Please, just-”

And that was when the fire alarm went off and the lights in the hall flickered off. Students started to pour out of their classrooms into the halls, while their teachers tried to either usher them back into class or outside, confused. Everyone was confused. Except for Evan, who noticed the faint blue glow on his middle finger, from his casted hand. He took advantage of the confusion, slipping away while his teacher tried to tell everyone to get back in class because there had been no fire drill planned. He heard the familiar voice of Jared yell back, “We’re leaving because it’s not a drill!” And as he struggled to get to a quiet area, that same voice popped up in the back of his head. “Evan, this witch is mine.”

Zoe’s voice came through after, he didn’t know how, but he hoped they couldn’t hear all his thoughts. “No, we’ll fight it together.”

“We need to wait until school is over!” Alana, this time.

“But the fire alarms went off, it has to be the witch luring us to it!”

“Who cares? I’m fighting it!”

“Jared, shut up!”

“That wasn’t me!”

Their voices seemed to blend as he got into an empty class, arguing incessantly, and was sick of it. “Shut up! All of you! I’ll do it!”

There was silence.

Evan raised the phone back to his ear, hearing the faint sound of static again. “Connor? Connor, are you still there? I’m sorry I stopped responding, I’m okay, are you okay? Say something.”

There was panting, and then some silence before he heard Connor’s voice again. “I’m sorry- shit going down-” There was a bit of silence, as Connor could be heard trying to control his breath. “You’re not gonna-”

“No. I’m not leaving again. Tell me where you are, please. I’ll come get you.”

“I don’t know!” Connor’s voice had cracked. It sounded weird, but made him want to cry. “Everything’s dark, it looks like I’m in some drug trip city, Zoe didn’t believe me, she thought I was high! I’m not high, I swear, please don’t say I’m high, because I’m not!”

“Calm down. I believe you, okay? Where’s the last place you remember being?” He asked, trying to speak as gently as possible.

“My homeroom- room 302- I walked in, and everything was dark, it was just-”

“Don’t worry. I’m coming to get you.” Evan stayed on the phone as he made his way through the empty building, now holding the familiar egg-shaped gem. He had managed to get Connor to calm down by the time he arrived at the barrier. Right in front of the door.

What a cheap trick, he thought as he walked straight in.

Connor was at this point, undoubtedly, lost.

After one panic attack, which he was sure Evan did not want to deal with, and a lot of walking and running from large, oversized, and monstrous bugs, Connor had lost sight of where he was. The entire place was just a city skyline, with pathways lit in gold everywhere. They went everywhere. Some didn’t connect at all. It was so intricate and complicated. He doubted that Evan would find him.

There were more bugs, oversized flies and mosquitoes made of paper mache, that Connor fled from, his lungs hurt and his legs were sore, but he didn’t want them anywhere near him. His mind had went into a complete panic, until he heard someone screaming. Not in pain, but as if it was some sort of battle cry..? And as he whipped around, he saw the oddest sight. Evan Hansen, running straight at the bugs, and whacking them away with his cast, while screaming. The bugs didn’t die, as they scattered instead, disappearing into the inky blackness.

“Evan?”

“Connor!” Evan had grabbed him by the shoulders, which was more than welcome, with the same worried face. “Thank god you’re alright, I was so worried!”

“Wait, can you see all of this?” All he could think to ask. He didn’t want Evan to think he was crazy.

“Of course I can, I was worried that you couldn’t!” The buzzing returned, but instead of looking panicked, Evan didn’t look afraid at all. The nervous and timid boy Connor knew had been replaced with someone who was much braver, as he was now holding out… an egg. That was a fancy egg. And it was glowing. This didn’t even make sense. But as Evan told him to not worry about a single thing, Connor swore he had to be dreaming because he wasn’t high, and what happened next was directly out of some cartoon. It deserved theme music, even. Seconds later, the approaching paper mache bugs had been dissolved to nothing by a ricochet of blue light and what looked like bullets to him. But Evan was holding what looked like a bow, and he was wearing an odd outfit which included a skirt, frills and bows. And Evan, who was too adorable with his dumb outfit and his dumb smile, had grabbed Connor by the hand and told him to “come on!”, and they kept going.

Connor didn’t feel as afraid as he did before. Evan was here. Evan seemed to know how to fight. Evan was adorable. Evan was holding his hand. Evan was quite literally holding his hand. He felt weird. He didn’t know if this was admiration he was feeling, or something else.

Every once in awhile, Evan would have to let go of Connor’s hand to shoot something, but he would grab Connor’s hand again and they kept going. Every once in awhile, Evan would have to half-carry Connor so they could jump from one walkway to another. Connor didn’t know where they were going, but he knew fully well that Evan was amazing.

It took ten minutes for them to find the door, the two pushing it open to find another door, which they opened. In total, there were 12 doors. And it didn’t take Evan long at all to destroy the monstrosity sitting in the center, it being decorated with many weapons and makeshift armor to make up for it’s small size, running around wildly. Like a street rat. But Evan’s arrows found their way through the gaps and it eventually died, almost like a lightshow. The landscape cleared, and seemingly shimmered into nothingness. They were in Connor’s (now empty) homeroom. The outfit disappeared off of Evan, who had picked up a small, black something off the ground and had given Connor a weak smile.

“A fire drill happened… I guess I have a lot of explaining to do.”

“No shit.”


	8. Desiderium

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're his best friend. You know that, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so this is the NEW chapter. If you came here from the old PMEM, here's what changed.  
> -Evan's abilities changed from plant-based to time based.  
> -A few big bits were changed to make more sense.  
> -Lots of redesigns.  
> Uh, I changed some other things, but if you read the old version, you should be fine,

The time was 7:24 PM. Evan Hansen was sitting on Connor Murphy’s bed, and Connor was currently painting both of their nails a shade of light blue, after a painful dinner with the Murphy family. The only thing that was keeping away an uncomfortable silence was Evan starting to explain what had happened at school.

“So, that thing you saw was called a ‘witch’. There’s a lot of them around here. They’re supposedly made of negativity, or something, but other than that, I don’t know a lot about them.”

“But you know that they exist, and you know how to kill them.”

“Y-Yeah.”

Connor had finished with Evan’s right hand, and moved onto the left. “How?”

“What- what do you mean, ‘how’?”

Connor seemed to consider what to say, carefully choosing his words. “You know that these things exist. You have like, weird powers and know how to fight them. How? And why?” He looked more confused that angered. Good.

“Well, um.. I have a friend who’d probably be better at explaining this.” There was a nagging feeling at the back of Evan’s mind, and he couldn’t pinpoint what it was about until he saw the white cat/rabbit sitting on Connor’s windowsill.

“And where would that friend be?”

“It’s sitting on your windowsill right now.” Evan watched as Connor looked to the window, glancing back and forth. He felt like Connor was close to kicking him out, and he felt like a madman. “Um. It said that normal people can’t see him.”

“...So, why can  _ I _ see him?”

That singular question shocked Evan into silence.

“...It’s like, a weird lookin’ cat… rabbit… what even is that?”

Wait, did this mean that Connor had been able to see Kyuubey before? No wonder he had looked so freaked out this morning, it’s not every day that your friend comes to school with an alien on their shoulder. “Um, yeah, that’s Kyuubey.”

“...Weird name.”

“Well, I don’t think that it’s from Earth.” Evan coughed at the feline, trying to get it to just stop staring. “You can come in, you know.”

“No, it can’t.” Connor put away the nail polish. “The window’s still closed. Don’t try, you’re gonna smudge your hands. I’ll get it.” As Connor let Kyuubey in, Evan glanced down at his fingers. Right, the nail polish was still wet. He still gave Kyuubey an awkward head pat when it settled in front of Connor.

And it stared at Connor, before speaking. “Hello, Connor Murphy. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

And then, Evan had to explain that Kyuubey knew his name through entirely mundane reasons, and that no stalking or telepathy was involved (okay, maybe a little bit of stalking and telepathy). And Kyuubey went over magical girls, and witches, just to be safe. And after it’s explanations of soul gems and labyrinths and grief seeds, the feline made itself comfortable on the bed, next to Evan. Leaving Connor to process all of the information that he had been given.

“So, let me get this straight.” Jared would be pissed if he was here. “You use your weird little egg-”

“Soul gem,” Kyuubey corrected,

“Yeah, soul gem, whatever. You use that to go fight weird eldritch monstrosities that live in drug-trip mazes, so you can get ‘grief seeds’, so you can keep your egg nice and shiny, or whatever the fuck.”

Evan nodded. “It honestly sounds kinda dumb when you put it that way.”

“Well, forget how it sounds fucking insane,” Connor ran a hand through his hair, something he had been doing a lot, “have you even considered how dangerous this is in the first place?”

“What?”

The thought that fighting witches was dangerous had crossed Evan’s mind, but he had never thought of it as a danger to himself. He had always been thinking of Jared, or Zoe, or Alana, or Connor. He felt a bit tempted to tell Connor that. He decided against it.

Connor ran his hands through his hair again, his forehead resting in his hands for a few seconds before he faced Evan. “God damnit, Evan, you’re fighting- well- I don’t know what to compare those things to, but think about it- you’ve been fighting these things alone for…”

“Since the first day of school.”

“So, about a month. Roughly a month.” Evan didn’t realize he had been doing this for so long. But Connor continued. “You’ve just been throwing yourself at them for a month, and it didn’t even- you never thought, ‘hey, I might die doing this!’ Did you never think about that?”

“Well, no, mainly because I’ve had help-”

“There’s other people doing this too?”

“Yeah.”

Connor looked skeptical. “Who are they?”

“Kids at our school.” Evan realized that Connor wasn’t going to take this for an answer. “Uh, Jared, Zoe, and Alana. Beck.”

Connor didn’t reply.

“...Connor? Hey, are you okay?” It didn’t register at first, but Evan realized that Connor had gone slightly pale, and looked as if he had seen a witch form right behind Evan. It was just pure shock and horror on his face, until he finally said something.

“Zoe- she’s doing this.”

Evan nodded.

“My sister.”

“..Yeah.”

“She’s fighting witches with you.”

“And Alana and Jared.” Evan finally realized that, oh crap, Connor probably thinks that I dragged her into this, and maybe that’s why he looks so pissed. “But- wait, don’t get mad, I didn’t get her to do this, she’s doing it on her own will, she’s even been fighting longer than I have! Please, don’t get mad, I just…” He stopped talking, after seeing that Connor was no longer pissed at him. He was instead holding his head in his hands again, but he didn’t come out.

“God damnit, Evan.” He gave a shaky sigh. “You can’t just tell me this shit. You can’t just come here and go, ‘oh hey, what’s up, I’ve been putting my life on the line everyday to fight cryptids or whatever the fuck witches are, and your sister’s been doing it too,’ you can’t just do this shit to me.”

"Well, she's not doing it alone!" Evan argued, as if it'd really help him. "And she's not bad at it, she's faster and stronger and-"   
"That doesn't help!"   
"Okay, okay, sorry, I just," shit, what was he going to say? Did he even have anything to say? "I- I don't know, I'll go now. I'm sorry." He got up to leave, but was stopped by a cold hand grabbing his own.    
"No. Come back here. Now you have to give me every single last detail about this shit so I don't have nightmares about Zoe being eaten by disgusting insects or whatever the fuck, just..." Evan had stopped hearing what Connor was saying, though, because somewhere in the back of his mind, it had finally registered that a while ago, Connor had been confirmed dead, had committed suicide, and now he was alive and concerned about the very thing that was keeping him alive. It felt weird- no, concerning- no, just bad. It was a terrible feeling, and he didn’t ever want to feel it, and he felt like he might throw up, knowing that Connor was supposed to be  _ dead _ . "...Evan, are you even paying attention-”

Evan pulled Connor into a hug.

Connor didn’t move for a few seconds, and Evan was close to pulling himself off and apologizing and leaving forever, until he realized that Connor, though rather mechanically, was patting his head at a poor attempt at comfort. Oh, and he was saying words, too, but Evan didn’t really care enough to listen. He could hear someone open the door, and heard Zoe, saying something. 

“Connor, did you take my-”

“Now is a bad time, Zoe!”

Right. Zoe and Connor were siblings. Okay, it was beginning to smell too much like weed and body odor, time to get off of the poor kid. He barely noticed how Connor seemed to linger before keeping his hands to himself. 

“Sorry.”

“It’s alright.”

“It really isn’t.”

“Bullshit.”

The two just sort of stood there, unsure of what to do with themselves. 

“Uh.”

“..So…”

Evan nervously laughed. “We, uh, do a lot of standing around awkwardly.”

“You should lay down. Or something.” Wait, hold on, what?

“Wha- why? I’m fine.”

Connor sighed, running his fingers through his hair, something he tended to do when stressed. “You look terrible. You have bags under your eyes. You’re all scarred up and bruised. Just… lay down for a bit.”

“And.. if I don’t?”

“Then, that’s fine, but I’ll be paranoid.” Beat. “But, what else would be new?”

It took a bit of convincing, but Evan agreed to take the night off, and ended up falling asleep in Connor’s bed. He didn’t feel up to walking all the way home, anyways. He could wait until tomorrow.

 

Evan woke up to about two more covers, and an open window revealing a night sky. He felt a bit disappointed when he saw it was late out, and when he checked his phone, he read that it was around midnight. Of course he couldn’t sleep for more than a few hours. But, what concerned Evan was the suspicious lack of Connor. When he looked around, he saw no one. And, of course, his brain linked Connor to the open window.

_ Fuck. _

Evan went straight to the window, looking out to the ground. No Connor. And then, he noticed the feet dangling from the roof above.

“Connor?”

From the roof, there was a soft “hey.”

“..Connor, can you please get back in here?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re scaring me! What if you fall?”

“Wouldn’t that be good?”

Evan sighed. “No, it wouldn’t, because then I’d have to sign your cast.” He paused, before remembering something about Connor that the Murphy’s had told him about. “Are you getting high up there?”

“I was going to. Move away from the window.” Evan did as he was told, and about two seconds later, Connor slid in, albeit a bit clumsily. “Alright. Back in.”

There was more silence, until Evan sat back down on the bed, and Connor decided to join him, having nothing better to do. There was, once again, silence, until Evan spoke again, and asked a question.

“Why were you up there?”

“...Getting high?”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why were you getting high?”

There was a bit of silence, until Connor said, “it keeps away the stress.”

“Then why were you stressed?”

“...I was scared for you.” Evan was about to ask why, until Connor continued. “I mean- you’re my only fuckin’ friend. Literally. You’re the only person who I can talk to on a day-to-day basis without you mocking me. Everyone at school thinks I’m a fucking freak, and the only people who want to talk to me are… those fuckin’ weirdos from that cartoon club- the guys who never shower, wear trenchcoats and fedoras, and hit on every girl and whine when they get told to fuck off. Those guys.”

Evan nodded. “Yeah, I’ve had to deal with them.”

“But- that doesn’t matter. You- you just- you’re my only friend, and you told me that you’re doing this super fucking dangerous thing that could kill you, and, I don’t know how that’s not supposed to stress me out. You could die.”

“I’m not gonna die, Connor.” Evan tried to pat Connor on the back, but Connor flinched, so he decided to just not touch Connor. “I- uh, I’m too careful.”

“But what if?” Neither of them spoke, too scared to say what the ‘what-if’ was. “...Hey, you guys get a free wish, right?” Beat. “...What if I-”

“No.”

“What?”

Evan repeated himself, more firmly. It’s the first time he’s been this firm about something. “No. I don’t want you to make a contract.”

“...Why not?”

“It’s- I don’t want you to die, either. So… do me a favor, and just don’t.”

“...Alright. I won’t make a contract with that thing.” Evan almost let himself untense, before he heard the next part. “But on one condition.”

“...What is it?”

“Don’t die.”

Oh, good. He could do that. That was easy. “Alright.” He smiled. “But I can’t promise.”

Connor lightly hit his shoulder. “Jerk.”

He wasn’t very sure what happened the rest of the night, he had been too tired to care. But in the morning, his head was a lot clearer. He also had a lot of fun playing a game he called, “Get Up Without Waking Up Connor So He Doesn’t Know That You Fell Asleep In His Arms As He Held You Because Neither Of You Are Gay”.


End file.
